I Can't Get Up But I Know I Have To

Have you ever woken up, immediately sad about having to get out of bed? Some days you just want to stay in and sleep, not because you’re lazy or tired, but because you don’t have enough energy. There are certain periods in my life when that is my normal.

So what gets me eventually out of bed? I think of the things I’ve committed to, the responsibilities I have, and people who are counting on me. I think of the things I might miss out on. I think of my well-being and ask: Will staying in bed help me recover from whatever bout of melancholia or depression I’m currently in? Or will it only further my sadness?

There are days when I find myself taking a bath and going out, in spite of what I’m feeling. If it’s that kind of day for you, congratulations! That’s a big deal.

But there are also days when I can’t bring myself to get up. If it’s that’s kind of day for you, that’s okay too. Give yourself the space to grieve or heal or rest, and pray. Try again tomorrow. The important thing is that you keep on trying.

Whether or not you get out of bed, there is a God who will not leave you. A God that will love you even if you can’t bring yourself to go to work or school. A God who will give you strength when you feel like you don’t have the energy to live life. Trust that He knows what you need on that day, whether you’re in bed or out of it.

(This is one of the entries from a book that I co-authored with Isa Garcia and Janina Rivera, Dawns: A Weekly Devotional for Self-Care and Spiritual Growth)

Heroism in The Age of Fear

As I write this, everyone has probably watched Avengers: Endgame and the final season of Game of Thrones has just started. While most viewers who have taken to social media are hating on spoilers, or hating on people who hate spoilers, I’ve been thinking about the kind of heroes that I enjoy in fiction.

When I was younger, my idea of a hero was someone who was fearless, who would always do the right thing, and never backed down from a challenge. I wanted to become someone like that when I grew up.

But along with adulting came the realization that such heroes would not fare well in the real world, with all the ambiguities, complications, and plot twists that we encounter in everyday life. So I started looking at the heroes who sometimes did the wrong thing, sometimes backed down from a fight because they were afraid or confused, or didn’t know which way was up or down. I think of the Jon Snows and Iron Mans of this world who are not always brave but have one thing in common: In the end they did what was right, in spite of everything.

There are many things to fear and be angry about these days. You will falter. You will try to run away. You will try to hide behind the façade of indifference or cynicism. In the end though, do you have what it takes to be a hero and do the right thing? Are you brave enough to admit that you are afraid and to hold onto the One who places courage in your heart — He who is with you in the scariest of places and fights your battles for you?

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This is one of the entries from a book that I co-authored with Isa Garcia and Janina Rivera, Dawns: A Weekly Devotional for Self-Care and Spiritual Growth

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