Today I Must Listen

There are friends who listen, and listen well. Then there are those who pretend to listen. Then there are those who tell you they'll listen, but when you meet, they still talk about themselves after they listen to you for five seconds. Then there are those who don't even pretend to listen at all.

Of course we've been all those at one point or another, but hopefully, you have the discernment and sensitivity to know when you have to be the one to really listen.

Listening is really a lost art. We sometimes love hearing the sound of our own voice too much that we fail to hear other voices or we shout over the other voices that are just trying to tell their own stories or we fail to ask the stories of those that are too shy or awkward to make their voices be heard.

But if you really closely listen to other people instead of talking over them or impatiently waiting for your turn to talk without really hearing them, you'll discover some pretty amazing things and amazing people. Every person has an interesting story to tell, whether it's something they've experienced or an anecdote or some interesting insights.

Listening also means that you don't have to give advice or solutions. Sometimes all they need is someone to listen to them and to ask questions as they tell their story. Sometimes that person is you. But also, sometimes, you're the one that's called to listen.

IF YOU NEED TO DO SOMETHING

Set a date with a friend whom you think is going through something and let them know you’re just there to listen.

JOURNALING PROMPT

What great things have you discovered when you spend time to consciously listen? 

Today I Decide to Accept Failure

Did you ever make a plan that by age so-and-so, you should have achieved this-and-that? I know that I have a journal somewhere (or I may have thrown it away) that states that by age 26, I should already be married with a kid on the way. I imagined myself having a managerial position in one of the top ad agencies in the country. My goal back then was also to have enough money to buy what I want or travel where I want to. Obviously I did not achieve any of that by that age and wasn't even close to doing so. So by the time I turned 26, I was already despairing that I was a total failure and disappointment.

Looking back now that I'm in my late forties, I literally laugh out loud. I want to give the 26-year-old me a big hug and tell her failure is inevitable. I only figured out what I really wanted to do in life when I was in my mid-30s and it wasn’t even in my original plan. Just last year I also had to pivot as I made a life-changing decision and now I'm living a very different life from what I imagined myself doing when I just graduated from college.

The thing is, while it’s good to have a plan, when things don’t go according to schedule, it doesn’t mean that you’re a failure and that you have not achieved anything. Think about all the lessons you have learned and are continually learning from all the detours. Think about the lives you have impacted along the way, in small and big ways. Think about every small and big thing that you've been able to do. Think about if where you are right now is where your talents are best used and where God is most glorified. 

This may sound cliche but it's a cliche for a reason. Failure is always an opportunity for a fresh start, no matter what age or what phase in life you are in.

IF YOU NEED TO DO SOMETHING:

Write down where you think you’ll be or what you’ll be doing in five years time. Make a schedule to look back at this “plan” five years from now.

JOURNALING PROMPT:

What unexpected lessons, strength, or clarity did you gain from taking a different route from your original plan?

Today I Am Content

Will I ever reach the point where I'll be perfectly content with my life? Probably not since I still have dreams and goals that I want to pursue in the next few years or maybe until I die. But that doesn't mean I can't find little bursts of "I am content" feelings every once in a while. 

I can find contentment in

... not having to set an alarm clock during the weekends

...discovering a new coffee shop in my neighborhood

...finding a bookshelf that can finally fit all my books

...being able to do non-work stuff in the middle of a work week

...living a slow and soft life after decades of being a workaholic

I can say I am content with my life right now even though it is hardly perfect. I am content because this life is temporary and I am looking to the eternal. 

Reaching this point took years of attitude adjustment, learning to enjoy the simple things, developing an attitude of gratitude, practicing mindfulness and living in the moment. It also involves letting go of emotional (and physical) baggage and some dreams that may never be fulfilled.

So if you’re not feeling content with your life now, try to examine if you need to change your circumstances or if it’s your attitude that needs a little tweaking. It may involve having to make painful decisions or it may be you just need to get a different point of view.

IF YOU NEED TO DO SOMETHING:

Create a sketch or drawing or list of what a perfect day looks like for you.

JOURNALING PROMPT:

What are things that you would like to add and/or remove from your life in order to reach a level of contentment that you're content with?

Today I Feel Heartbroken

I’ve been heartbroken over so many boys the past years that I’ve lost count (please don’t make me count). But there are also a lot of other things and people that have added to the cracks and fissures in my heart : friendships that ended without you realizing why, damaged bridges that cannot be mended, wounding words that echo continuously, unrequited love that will forever remain unsaid, dreams that can never come true, disappointment in a God that I formed in my head.

There are heartbreaks that you can paper over until they become scars that you barely notice. There are those that will forever be part of your fractured heart. There are those that you can use as fuel for your creative pursuits. There are those that can inevitably change you.

You cannot escape heartbreak as it is part and parcel of being human. But what happens after you’ve put the pieces back together can be both simple and extraordinary. The process is not immediate but getting there is a journey in itself. You can create amazing things that touch other people. You can become strong enough for others who are going through their own pain. You can use your story to point to the One who healed your wounds. 

IF YOU NEED TO DO SOMETHING

Read this poem and think about how it makes you feel (write down your feelings if you want)

'Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone'

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone, 

Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone, 

Silence the pianos and with muffled drum 

Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come. 

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead 

Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead, 

Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves, 

Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves. 

He was my North, my South, my East and West, 

My working week and my Sunday rest, 

My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song; 

I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong. 

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one; 

Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun; 

Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood; 

For nothing now can ever come to any good. 

W H Auden

JOURNALING PROMPT:

Write your own poem of heartbreak and lament. Go back to it after a year and see how far you've come.

Today I Will Sleep

My relationship with sleep the past few years has been pretty messed up. I feel sleepy a lot of times during the day and I am always excited at the prospect of sleeping at the end of the day. But the minute I lie down in my bed, my brain refuses to let me drift off into the ether. During my health crisis a few months ago, this bad sleeping habit contributed to me having Iron Deficiency Anemia. I finally forced myself to get the help I need to regulate my sleep as it has been affecting my health and my heart.

When they say that sleep is crucial to our overall well-being, it’s not a suggestion. It’s a proven, scientific fact. I now regret all the years that I’ve wasted not listening to the experts and to my body as I’m now feeling all the consequences of depriving myself of my much-needed rest. 

If you need to remove all the distractions keeping you from sleeping, do it. If you need to discipline yourself, do it. If you need medical help to regulate your sleeping, do it. Fix your relationship with sleep and you’ll see that it will do wonders for you.

IF YOU NEED TO DO SOMETHING:

Set a regular sleeping time every night and start preparing for bed an hour before it. Try to do it 21 times in a row until it becomes a habit. 

JOURNALING PROMPT:

What are the things that are keeping you from sleeping regularly? What can you do about them?

Sleeping tips

• No caffeine after 3PM

• Set regular sleep time

• No screens 1hr before bed

• Stretch 

• Get comfortable

• Set dark or warm lighting

• No heavy late night meals

• Exercise before sleep

• Practice deep breathing exercises

• Write down nagging thoughts

Today I Must Take Care of Myself

We’ve seen the “self-care is not selfish” idea bandied about in social media the past few years. It seems like a pretty great hashtag to add to your posts about taking a break, going on vacation, having a spa day, etc. But when it comes to actually taking time to take care of yourself, in mind, body, and spirit, do we take it seriously or do we take ourselves for granted? 

A few months ago I had a medical emergency which is basically a result of me not taking care of myself and ignoring symptoms that something was wrong. Self-care is not just a hashtag. It's really changing how you live your life. It's being intentional about things like eating well, getting enough rest, starting/restarting healthier habits, taking up new hobbies for your heart, etc. It's not something you do during the weekends or schedule once a week. It's making a decision every day to do small and big things to take care of yourself.

A lot of times we think that taking care of ourselves is selfish, self-indulgent, and un-Christian. But how can we be of service to others if our mind, body, and spirit are all out of shape? Just like how flight attendants remind us to put the oxygen mask on first before assisting others, we also need to make sure that we are staying healthy in all aspects so that we can fulfill our purpose on earth as long as we are still here.

IF YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING:

Choose to start a healthy (physical, mental, or spiritual) habit today and do it consistently for 28 days until it becomes part of your routine. 

JOURNALING PROMPT:

What does taking better care of yourself mean right now?

DEVELOP HEALTHY HABITS

• Drink more water - A lot of our health problems start when we drink other liquids more than actual water

• Quiet time - Spend a few minutes / hours quietly without doing anything. Pray, meditate, rest.

• Take breaks - Be intentional about taking mini-breaks throughout the day

• Practice gratitude - Write it down, post it, tell someone you're grateful for them

• Unplug before bed - Put screens away 30 minutes before bed time

• Walk more - Walk 10 minutes after every meal. Walk outside longer when you can.

• Learn new things - You're never too old to learn new things

• Eat more veggies and fiber - Chia seeds, leafy greens, oatmeal, legumes

• Sleep consistently - Sleep 6-8 hours a day and do it at consistent times

Today I Decide to Grieve

Have you ever felt weird grieving for someone that you barely know now or barely knew at all or you once knew well or you didn't know at all ? Don't stop yourself from grieving because it is in acknowledging the loss of a human life, no matter how far or near to you, no matter how expected or surprising, no matter how young or old, that we become more connected to each other. Grief is part of what makes us human. We grieve because we are human and we are human because we grieve. 

We grieve for the loved ones that are left behind. We grieve for someone we don't actually know but whose small legacy goes on through the stories of the people we do know. We grieve for vague memories, for unsung songs and unspoken words, for photos that will now always bring a tug to the heart.

We grieve. Life will go on. But allow yourself to grieve. 

IF YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING:

Write down all the things you can remember about the person you’re grieving for right now.

JOURNALING PROMPT

What are things that you want people to do for you to help you grieve? Do you find it easy to ask for these things?

Today I Am Grateful

Developing an attitude of gratitude will do wonders for your brain, heart, and soul. Scientists, psychologists, and theologians have sang its praises. It is a recognition of the goodness that happens to us and at the same time, an acknowledgement that this goodness lies outside of ourselves. 

We're usually thankful when we receive a gift, an unexpected favor, an answer to our prayer. But what about on the ordinary days when nothing really happens or when you experience something horrible? How can you be thankful then? You will be forced to examine things more closely and deeply and see what you can be thankful for in those times.

You can still find something to be thankful for in the simplest of things or the most painful of experiences or even when you think there's nothing to be thankful for. You may not find it at the moment but when you look back on it, you'll realize there was something to be grateful for after all. 

IF YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING:

In one page, list down all the things that you're thankful for right now, both the small and big things. You can keep it going by creating a separate gratitude journal or just adding a space for it in your existing journal or notes app.

JOURNALING PROMPT:

Look back on a painful or difficult experience in your past. What is something that you're thankful for now that you didn't know back then?

Express gratitude

1. Keep a gratitude jar.

2. Make a section in your planner or journal for your gratitude list and add at least 3 things every day.

3. Do a daily gratitude post (but dont humble brag)

4. Write a simple gratitude note to a loved one or a colleague.

5. When you pray, don't just ask for things. Tell the Lord all the things you're grateful for.

Today I Feel Insecure

used to think that instead of blood, I had insecurity running through my veins. I hated the way I looked so I don’t want to be in group pictures since I felt everyone was prettier than me. I believed with all my heart that no one would want to read anything I wrote. I would always compare myself to my friends who are all excellent in their own way. And in my fear and insecurity that others can do or say it better, I eventually silenced my voice. 

Eventually, I realized something had to drastically change: how I constantly compare myself to other people and how I generally feel about myself. I started making little changes. I took selfies until I got used to staring at my face. I sang to myself until I found out I liked my voice.  I started writing again and eventually discovered I actually liked how I wrote. I started appreciating the people around me instead of always thinking I was inferior compared to them.

I can’t really say that I’ve totally made peace with myself. But I can honestly say now that I actually like the me that I’ve become and the me that I think God wants me to be. And more importantly, I started to really accept that God loves me, scars, imperfections, insecurities and all.  Let us listen to the Truth and let the lies fade into background noise. 

IF YOU NEED TO DO SOMETHING:

List down the things that you think you’re good at. Add to this list every time you learn a new skill or talent.

JOURNALING PROMPT:

What are three quiet strengths or capabilities that I have that have nothing to do with external validation?

Today I Will Conquer My List/s

One sure sign that I’m not doing so well is when I don’t do my regular to-do lists. There are days when I know I have a lot I need to finish but I don’t have the energy to even think about them. I just tell myself that all these things are in my head but halfway through the day I've forgotten most of them and I kick myself at the end of the day when I haven't done things I'm supposed to do.

Knowing when to force yourself to actually face the tasks and lists and when to temporarily run away from them is something that you need to figure out on your own. Finding that balance may take years but you’ll get there. I think at age 47 I've finally gotten the hang of it through trial and error. Last week I was feeling so meh but I gave myself the grace to just "indulge" in this feeling. But this week I know I have to stop and do something about it. There's no formula to it but you'll eventually figure it out.

If today is the day when you know you cannot “escape”, start by writing everything down first. Don't organize yet, just dump everything in a page or on your notes app. Don’t let the tasks and the thoughts percolate in your brain and overwhelm you. Listing them down will help you figure out a game plan towards conquering things that you think are insurmountable right now. When you break them down into lists and tasks, you’ll realize that they’re not that scary after all.

IF YOU NEED TO DO SOMETHING

Start a page in your journal where you just list down all you need to do. Don’t organize them yet, just list them all down. Once you’ve finished with this master list, then start choosing the ones that you need to prioritize and the ones that have deadlines. Break them down into mini-tasks and start crossing out things once you’ve finished them. 

JOURNALING PROMPT:

If you know that you have to face your tasks again, what are things and thoughts that you need to put away in order to get into the productivity zone again?

Productivity tips

- Drink coffee or tea or your beverage of choice

- List tasks and goals down

- Develop a daily weekday routine

- Remove distractions around you

- Take breaks throughout the day

- Reward yourself after finishing tasks

Today I Must Start Journaling

As we’ve already established, I’m a huge advocate of journaling, whether it’s to help you be more organized, for scrapbooking or memory keeping purposes, to help you process your feelings, as an outlet for creativity, or just to manage your overall mental health. Don’t think you need to have all the tools like stickers and fountain pens and washi tapes or that you need to be a great writer before you start. All you need is a blank page and a pen (or your notes app) before you start writing, sketching, or just jotting down random things.

The important thing is that you figure out first why you want to journal and what will be its main purpose in your life. Then choose a good time to schedule your journaling and keep that time “sacred”. Then just start journaling, whether you want to document your life, write out your feelings, or help set goals and targets. 

Most importantly, remember that you're journaling for yourself. It's not just something to add to your to-do list or to post on your Instagram or to buy stationery so you can use them (and please, use them). You're doing this to benefit yourself and you write or create for your own eyes. It's great to share what you can but don't think about your audience. Just journal for yourself.

Here are a few short tips and tricks I've learned over the years:

1. Set a journaling schedule (and keep it whenever you can)

2. Try writing one sentence a day just to get the hang of it (you'll be writing paragraphs soon)

3. Use creative prompts (just search IG, Tiktok, or even just Google)

4. Log daily activities (especially when you're forgetful)

5. Experiment! There's no right or wrong way to journal.

6. Track your habits

7. Use bullet points if you don't like long-form writing

8. Incorporate photos, stickers, sketches, stamps, etc into your pages

9. Browse YouTube, Instagram, Tiktok for inspiration (but don't be pressured to be like them)

10. Reflect on your mood or feelings (if nothing really "happend" during the day)

11. Review old entries regularly (to see how far you've come)

12. Create a done list instead of a to-do list (things you've accomplished/finished)

13. Focus on gratitude (your journal can just be a gratitude journal)

14. Write down small wins, no matter how simple or trivial

15. Write without editing (just write what you want and/or feel)

16. Try voice notes if you don't feel like writing

17. Try junk journaling (use receipts, labels, napkins, papers, etc)

18. Decorate your pages if you don't like just looking at your writing

19. Use what you have (and it can be a pen and paper only)

20. Just start journaling.

IF YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING:

Start your first journaling page (if you haven’t yet) or spend 10 minutes just journaling today.

JOURNALING PROMPT:

Why do you want to start journaling? What will be its purpose in your life? 

Today I Decide To Figure Things Out

When I used to commute for work, I would see all of these provincial buses passing by and I oftentimes had this impulse to get on a bus to somewhere I’ve never been to and to never come back. Whenever I would get this urge, I realized it was a sign that I was unhappy with my current situation. I would end up either resigning from my current job or obsessing over something else to distract me from my circumstances. 

As I grew older, I realized these were just other forms of escapism. I may not have actually gotten on that bus but I was still trying to get away instead of trying to figure out why I was unhappy or dissatisfied. So if you have that desire to disappear or escape, sit down with yourself or with someone wiser and try to figure out what it is that’s the underlying issue in your heart. Sometimes it may end up that you have to do something drastic like move to another place but oftentimes, it may involve something as simple as changing something in your life. 

Figuring things out is not always easy as it forces you to ask difficult questions and maybe make tough decisions. It's not always easy and will not take a few hours. It may take days, weeks, even months. Or maybe even longer. The important thing is to name the issue why you want to be anywhere but here and then slowly figure out what steps you have to take next.

IF YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING

If you don’t know what it is that’s making you antsy, have coffee with someone you can talk things out with.

JOURNALING PROMPT

If you could be anywhere but where you are now, where would you go? Why do you think you want to go there?

What to do when you need to figure it out:

1. Write down all the questions that are churning in your brain.

2. List down the pros and cons and score each item based on importance.

3. 10/10/10 Rule

• How will you feel about the choice in 10 minutes?

• How will you feel about it in 10 months

• How will it impact your life in 10 years?

4. Write down the small steps you'll need to take for each decision.

5. "Research" about people who've made the same decision or taken that step.

6. Talk it out with someone

• who can just listen

• who can give you practical advice

• who can be a devil's advocate

7. Spend time in prayer (if you're the praying kind)

Today I Am Happy

For a lot of people, life is all about the pursuit of happiness. There are a lot of books, songs, movies, pieces of art created just to be able to chase that feeling. If you woke up happy today, good for you. Embrace the feeling and revel in the happiness that you're feeling right now.

But happiness can be fleeting since it's more of a feeling. It is of the moment and may be a reaction to a person, an event, a situation. Of course it's not a bad thing to be happy but it also shouldn't be our be all and end all. I'm more a fan of the idea of joy. It is a state of the heart and the soul. It can go beyond circumstance and like peace, it can be beyond understanding. 

Yes, you can pursue happiness and that is still an important part of life. But the more important thing is you can choose joy. Maybe instead of asking yourself "Am I happy?", you can ask "Have I found my source of joy?" 

IF YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING:

Create a list of things that make you happy- your dopamine or happiness playlist. When you're feeling lonely, you can look back on this list and choose to do one of those things.

JOURNALING PROMPT:

When was the last time that you really felt a sense of joy?

Today I Feel Lonely

Why is it so hard for us to admit to ourselves and to others that we’re lonely? It is after all a normal part of our emotional cycles. There’s a certain pressure that society puts on us and we put on ourselves to make sure that everyone knows we’re happy. Sometimes, we also have a certain image that we think we need to protect and no one can know that we’re ever lonely.

Over the past years, I’ve learned to be honest and vulnerable enough to confess that every once in a while, I feel lonely. And it is in naming that emotion that actually makes loneliness lose its power over me. Acknowledging it doesn’t mean that it disappears. But once you start to realize it, you start taking steps to feel it, to understand it, and eventually to vanquish it. 

Talk to people you can trust to understand you. Go to a place that brings you joy. Read a book or temporarily escape into a story. Eat your comfort food. Write it out in your journal. And most importantly, cry out your loneliness to God. He understands what it means to be lonely, abandoned, forsaken. He will comfort you. He will bring you peace and joy that surpasses understanding. 

IF YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING:

Write a piece of poem or prose that expresses your current state of loneliness. It doesn't have to be a great piece of literature, just an honest expression of what you're feeling now.

JOURNALING PROMPT

What do you think are the things, people, or circumstances that are causing you to feel lonely? 

When you feel lonely

...talk to someone even about trivial stuff

...visit a nearby place that brings you joy

...read or re-read a book you can escape to

...eat your comfort food (even if it becomes cheat day)

...write out random thoughts and feelings in your journal

...do a simple hobby that brings you joy

...list out things you're grateful for

...treat yourself to something simple but nice

...cry out to God

Today I Will Do Nothing

We’ve been programmed to feel guilty when we do absolutely nothing for a day or for a few hours. Even if it’s a weekend, sometimes I find myself trying to set a schedule for myself just so I do not waste the day away. But there are times when you absolutely have to do nothing in order to recharge your body, mind, and soul.

One of my favorite stories in the Bible is Elijah and his nap time under the Juniper tree. When he was overwhelmed and running for his life, he lay down and slept. God let him rest and do nothing. He even sent an angel to feed him and then he slept again. So why do we feel guilty when we are given a day or days when we can just rest and do nothing?

When you read the rest of Elijah’s story after this period, you will realize why rest is part of our natural rhythm. We need this time to prepare ourselves for the great and simple tasks ahead. More importantly, we will be able to hear His voice that can sometimes be drowned out by all our schedules, lists, and activities.

IF YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING (OR NOTHING):

Schedule a Saturday where you will do absolutely nothing. Put it in your calendar and let the people around you know about this “do nothing” day.

JOURNALING PROMPT

After your “just do nothing” day, write down a stream-of-consciousness journaling entry, writing down all the emotions and thoughts and random things that you felt while doing nothing.

Today I Must Talk to Someone

When I’m in the midst of depression or even just a sad period, my first instinct is to just keep it to myself and deal with it on my own. I know that I'm not in a good place when I would rather justc cancel plans or choose not to see anyone. There are times when that works or you need to do that if you need more self-reflection and time on your own to process your feelings. But there are also times when it will get to be too much and you're just choosing to retreat into yourself because it's easier. It's harder to be vulnerable and to tell someone, "I need to talk" or "I need help".

Reaching out and talking to someone, whether it’s a peer, a mentor, a counselor, a leader, is very important when you know that you are spiraling and you are not handling things well. Do not think that you are just being a burden to another person by sharing your troubles. We are not meant to go through life alone and sometimes, all you need is to be able to tell another person what you are going through. They may not always be able to give you advise but you can have someone help you process your feelings or your situation. Sometimes even, you just need someone to listen to you as you unburden yourself.

IF YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING:

Set a date with a trusted friend that you can talk to (and ask permission if they’re in a good head space to listen to you)

JOURNALING PROMPT

What stops you from talking to someone even though you know you’re not handling your situation well? What are things that you need to change in order to start being more open to trusted people?

“Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:2 (ESV)

Today I Decide To Drop the Phone

Because I worked in digital marketing for more than 15 years, I sometimes make it an excuse to scroll continuously on various apps until the wee hours of the morning under the guise of “research”. I said I couldn't really turn off social media because it's my actual work, even though a lot of times whatever I was scrolling through isn't really work-related. During the pandemic and even afterwards though, I’ve made it a habit of doom-scrolling until I cry or reach the brink of giving up on my country, the world, and life in general. Even when things got back to "normal" or whatever it is we have now, my phone seems to be attached to my hand and I had a hard time putting it down. Now I can't stop watching vertical dramas, going through recipes that I may never try, and reading all about the latest k-land gossip and issues.

Obviously, this never-ending scrolling keeps me up at night and does not help keep my anxiety at bay. And when it turns into doomscrolling or reading and watching all the things that are wrong with this broken world, it adds to this feeling of helplessness and hopelessness I sometimes feel. I would like to say that now that my work isn't connected to social media, it's easier to put the phone down. Well, I wish I could say that but the truth is, it isn't really. So it means that this scrolling addiction wasn't really about my job. It was really more about a habit that I've developed and this incessant need to know everything, even if it doesn't help my sleep and my mental health.

I've been doing some practical things to help me put my phone down every once in a while, especially at night. When I go outside, I bring an "analog kit" with me, which is really mostly just my journaling stuff and a book or two. There are times during the day when I keep my phone away from me so I would resist the urge to give in and scroll a few hours away. And at night, I try to put a hard stop on my scrolling and put the phone far away to keep the temptation to pick it up again when my mind wanders and my eyes don't want to close.

Scrolling and doomscrolling is probably something that most of us will always do. But it should not take over our lives and reaching for our phones should not be automatic. So maybe have a few hours or even a whole day away from your phone and see what magical things happen.

IF YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING:

Create your own "analog kit" that you can bring outside with you so you can stop just scrolling through your phone when you're not doing anything. You can put a notebook, pens, journaling stuff, a book, a crossword puzzle, a coloring book, a sketchpad, etc

JOURNALING PROMPT:

What are things that can make you stop scrolling on your phone? List them down and refer to them every once in a while so you develop a habit of not picking up your phone.

How to Scroll Less

1. Move social apps off your home screen

2. Set phone-free times for meals and bedtime

3. Keep your phone out of reach while working

4. Replace one scroll break with a short walk

5. Bring an “analog kit” with you and reach for it often

Today I Am Determined

"If you just set your mind to it, you can do anything you want."

How many times have you heard that or some version of it from various self-help books and gurus or on memes on Reels and Tiktok? But then you find yourself frustrated when you are unable to achieve that thing that you wanted no matter how much you tried or think you tried. Determination = success is not a magic spell that you can shout and your wishes will be granted. 

Rather, determination is an attitude that needs to be developed. You are determined to accomplish something because you know it plays to your strengths and skills. You are determined to finish something even if you're faced with difficulties because you know that this is something that will benefit you or someone else. You are determined to focus on your goals without getting distracted because this is something that you need to do.

But again, determination is not something that you can just positive think your way to. It takes commitment to see something through. It takes discipline to do what you're supposed to do. It takes focus to not get easily distracted. And most importantly, it takes adaptability when things don't go as planned and acceptance if that goal is not something that you will be able to achieve.

It takes a certain kind of determination to go for things that you want, things that align with your values and what you believe in. But there's also a certain kind of bravery to accept things when they're not happening even if you've given it your all. It's okay to be disappointed but eventually you should also be determined to pick yourself up, rest for a while, and then go for something else.

IF YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING:

Write out the practical steps that you need to do for a specific project you're determined to finish. 

JOURNALING PROMPT

What are your goals for the next three months and what steps do you need to take to accomplish them?

"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are." Theodore Roosevelt

Today I Feel Uninspired

Wouldn’t it be nice if we woke up every day fully inspired to do what it is we know we are meant to do? That we are always full of ideas and energy, raring to go and conquer our corner of the world?

But as anyone who has been working for years knows, there are days when you drag yourself to work and the well has run dry. There are times when no matter how hard you squeeze your brain, nothing comes out and you just want to zone out and do nothing. Do you just force yourself to slog through even though you have no idea what to do? Or do you just stare into space and wait until inspiration finally strikes you?

Well, you can actually choose to do something in between. Inspiration doesn’t really drop down from the heavens exactly when you need it. Sometimes you have to work to find it. Sometimes you have to go out and try out different things until something inspires you, even if it sometimes forces you to stop first and do something else other than your actual work. There are also days when you just have to finish the tasks you're supposed to do even if they seem "uninspired". There are also times when you just have to call it a day and just just try to find inspiration tomorrow.

Inspiration is not instant nor is it a magical solution. You just have to learn to surround yourself with things, people, and experiences that can bring it out for you.

IF YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING

Take 30 minutes away from what you’re doing and do something else that can inspire you.

JOURNALING PROMPT:

For the next 21 days, list something every day that brings you inspiration. 

Where to find inspiration:

• Music

• Books

• Talking

• Nature

• Art

• Sleep

• Travel

• Scrolling/Bingeing

• Cooking/Eating

• Doing nothing

• Coffee

• Road trip

• Playing games

Today I Will Ask Out A Friend

There's this post going around on Threads and X where people ask if there are actual people who can stay at home the whole day without talking to someone. I laugh because that person is me. As long as I have internet or I have a book to read or a show to watch, I can survive days without talking to an actual person. This was true even before the pandemic and it became a reality when we were in quarantine. There were days when the words "Just leave the package at the lobby" were the only words I will say out loud during the day (that's for Grab or Shopee delivery people). I mean, yes, I would occasionally chat with people and let my family know I’m still alive but I can happily just exist within my bubble with just myself for company.

But the first time I actually met with friends outside of my house after months of isolation during that whole covid thing, I almost cried from relief. I finally realized the importance of truly connecting with people beyond Zoom calls and chat boxes. God created us to be social creatures and to make connections with others. We need to listen to their stories, to cry and laugh with them, to assure each other that we’re not alone. That famous saying "No man is an island" is not just a trite quote but something that we actually live by.

You might be a person that revels being around people so connection is probably not an issue for you. Or you might be the kind of person who prefers your own company most of the time and that’s okay, too. But if you're the latter, every once in a while, let other people into your world. Even better, actually be the one to reach out to someone. You might think you don’t need to and that you can survive on your own. But maybe, someone else might need you right now. So go ahead and ask that friend out that you've been meaning to see and talk to for some time now.

IF YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING:

Set a coffee (or tea or matcha or lunch) date with someone you feel the need to connect with. It might even be someone in your own home! Don’t put it off till next week or month. Do it now and set a specific date so it won't be a "one of these days" or someday.

JOURNALING PROMPT:

What prevents me from connecting with other people? What habits or attitudes do I need to change in order to cultivate the need to be with other people?

“Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.“ - Helen Keller