Today I Feel Anxious
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Anxiety is a new “friend” that I met during the pandemic (which seems like both so recent and so ancient) Normally, I could set aside these fleeting, anxious thoughts and positive think my way out of them. But suddenly, I started to recognize that nauseous, overwhelming, panicky feeling that I only previously read about. I couldn’t sleep just thinking about all the things that could go wrong. I sometimes couldn’t breathe whenever I doom scroll through social media (and I couldn't stop scrolling). I would sometimes stare into space, paralyzed by thoughts and feelings of anxiety. It was an ugly, unfamiliar feeling and I didn't know how to really deal with it at that time. I'm pretty sure a lot of us went through different levels of anxiety during that time.
It's gotten better since then but there are still moments when this unwanted friend would show up unexpectedly. It can happen when I'm in the middle of a crowd and I can't seem to breathe; while I'm out alone in an unfamiliar space; when I'm with friends and something was said that I can't get out of my head; when I'm alone at night, remembering things I need to do or failed to do; when I'm excited but then remembered something that might go wrong. Sometimes I can just brush it off especially when I'm with other people but pressing thoughts can be debilitating.
What has really helped is that I eventually learned to live with it instead of getting anxious about getting anxious. As they say, you can make it your friend. A friend that you don't want to see often, of course. Grounding techniques have helped me get out of moments when it becomes overwhelming. Finding out my triggers also helps me prepare for when an episode may possibly happen. I also tried different coping mechanisms to see which work - journaling, taking a walk, turning off my WiFi, drinking a cup of my favorite beverage, talking to someone, listening to music, reading a familiar book, even watching a brainless vertical drama. You need to find out what can help you get through it and it might take a lot of trial and error but when you find things that work, keep them in mind.
But most importantly, it is in these moments that I slowly learned to breathe things out to God. It’s not the time for “formal” prayer but just this natural act of exhaling all of my anxiety to the One who says that we can cast all our burdens onto Him. There are moments when all you can cry out is “Lord” and I know that is enough. Praying and exhaling doesn’t always get rid of my anxiety but it does help me breathe a little easier.
Living with anxiety can be difficult, especially if it's the crippling kind. But there is always hope, maybe not to totally overcome it, but to learn how to live with it.
IF YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING:
Try the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique when you’re feeling anxious
Name or acknowledge:
5 things you can see
4 things you can touch
3 things you can hear
2 things you can smell,
1 thing you can taste.
JOURNALING PROMPT:
What are things that have been causing you to feel anxious lately? What are things that are helping you deal with it?
"Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you." 1 Peter 5:7 (NLT)
