There Was This Guy

(Something I wrote back in 2009)

I forgot which TV show or movie it was that had a character whose stories always start with “There was this girl”…

When we were in Boracay a few weeks ago and I was bonding with an officemate, I realized that most of my stories start with “There was this guy….”

And so I had to relive all of my past failures when it came to this stupid thing called love

How I had a playlist for each and every boy that I ever liked (and yes, pre-mp3 days, I had mixed tapes)

How, statistically, 60% of the guys I loved ended up with my bestest friends

How, when I look back on all the guys I ever liked or loved, I cringe to death (with one exception, and he knows who he is)

How, statistically, 100% of all the relationships that I had and even the non-existent ones (meaning, that those that occurred only in my head/imagination/dreams) ended up in nauseating heartbreak

How I always let my heart take over my head each and every time

How I swore to never fall in love again, then a few weeks later, I am head over heels over someone inappropriate or unreachable or just someone who doesn’t know I exist

How I regularly drunk dialed my best friend in Japan and just ranted about how stupid guys are and ended up paying a fortune in cellphone bills

How unrequited love became synonymous to my name

How I have now finally arrived to the conclusion that I do not want to get married and that relationships are probably the one thing that will continually elude me and that maybe, just maybe, I am okay with that

And I know that in a few months, when I meet you for coffee somwhere, my story will probably start with “So there was this guy…”